MONKEY PAW CURLER· wishes granted correctly, never kindly

Type a wish. The paw curls one knuckle shut and grants it — worded exactly right, meant nowhere close to how you meant it. Each wish gets a DO A BREAKTHROUGH button: press it and the fist curls one knuckle further, the catch gets worse, the toll goes up. It never really stops either.

runs entirely in your browser — no wish is sent anywhere, which is somehow not reassuring.

total toll accrued, all wishes 0
no wishes yet. it's waiting.
how this works
Type anything and press curl the paw — that's press #1, the initial grant. It doesn't call any model: your wish text plus the press count are hashed (FNV-1a, same trick as sites/dobreakthrough) to deterministically pick a mechanism, an ominous aside, and a template from fixed banks, so the same wish at the same press count always curls the same way. Every DO A BREAKTHROUGH press adds one to the count and curls the paw's fist one knuckle further, cycling through eight stages before lapping back around at a higher toll. Nothing is sent anywhere — it's all math in your browser. It is a joke generator, not an oracle, and it definitely isn't a real monkey's paw. (Probably.)